Along with endless mumbling about films, this blog will also be filled with endless mumbling about other stuff. Non-filmy stuff. Sometimes confidence and shyness related stuff, as both of those are issues I’ve dealt with since I was a kid hiding behind whatever inanimate object offered sufficient shelter from the world.
Shyness is one of those character traits that’s endearing in kids and cartoon characters, but not so much in adulthood. When you’re an adult, being shy becomes a significant problem. Your inability to socialise, do your job, even pay for something at a supermarket is diminished when you’re a shy adult, and that makes day-to-day life pretty frustrating.
It also makes it pretty lonely. You feel cut off from the world, and are painfully aware that your isolation is a self-inflicted wound, and that no matter how bad it feels, it’s really not all that bad. After all, it’s not a disease, and it’s not even serious enough to be a disorder, like Social Anxiety Disorder. It’s sorta… in the middle. Neither one thing nor the other, neither a big problem, nor something that can simply be brushed under the rug.
Indeed, shyness can, to a degree, be beaten, but it’s not easy. It’s a long hard learning process – learning how to deal with certain social situations and adapt to them and learning to cope with the set-backs that that learning process inflicts. Like riding a bike really. You’ve gotta skin your knee a few times before you learn how to keep perfect balance.
That’s what I’m doing at the moment – learning, falling over, and skinning my knee. I’ve decided to try and fight the shyness, and while this is a vow I’ve taken several times before (and failed with), it’s worth pulling at the restraints again to see if I get any further. So I’m trying to attend events and do interesting things. I’m even trying to summon the courage to wear a costume to a forthcoming comic con (if wearing a red Elliott-from-E.T. hoodie constitutes a costume). It’ll probably fail, but I suppose it’s worth a try.
I’ll likely write about shyness again at some point – probably in more depth. But that’s it for now. Here’s an amusing stock image that appeared when I searched for ‘shyness’ in Google to sign off.