It’s nearly the end of 2016. Hurrah. Which means it’s nearly 2017. Hurrah…?
Sadly, I don’t know if 2017 will be better than 2016, a year of diminished confidence, high anxiety, and a little bit of heartbreak for me. But I can set out goals and try to make it better. I’m not one for New Year’s Resolutions as they’re as easy to break as they are to make, so I’ll simply lay out little long-term goals I’d like to achieve by this time next year.
So here they are…
Write a short story
I’ve been longing to write fiction for a while, and have a number of ideas in my head (including a fairy tale that I really love). But every time I sit down to write something, I get discouraged. I’m worried, I suppose, that I’ll realise that I simply can’t write fiction and so the dreams I have in my head will disintegrate. But I need to give it a shot. I’ve always wanted to write something that means something to someone, something that can give people hope and warmth. The stories in my head are all about clinging to hope in dark times, and I need to get on and write them. Better to try and fail than not to try at all.
Get confident, stupid
Confidence has long been an issue for me. I’m both an introvert and shy, so even when I want to go out and mingle, I find it really hard. It’s not much fun. But I’ve made some strides in the last few months of this year – going to conventions, meeting up with people, talking to new people online – and want to continue that progress into 2017. It’s not going to be easy, and sooner or later I need to take some big strides, but I need to just get on and do it. Gladly, I’ve got some excitement in me about it (as well as, y’know, crippling fear), so I should focus on that and use it to my advantage.
Do some cosplay
I’ve blogged about cosplay here before, and I really wanted to do some at the con I went to in November, but it didn’t work out. I wasn’t ready. I want to cosplay at at least one con this year though. It doesn’t need to be anything big (I’ve got an idea for cosplaying as Elliott from E.T.), I just need to do it. It’s a nice chance to draw a bit of attention to myself, maybe even have people come over and talk to me. I’ve been wearing some Disney pin badges on me whenever I’ve gone out recently, and have had some lovely conversations with people because of them. That’s the beginning of the big road to cosplay!
Compile my essays into a book
I’ve written a lot about Steven Spielberg. Like, loads. Seriously. I’ve uhmed and aahed about writing a book about him and trying to get it published, and I’m getting the itch again. With a new Indiana Jones film on the horizon, a book on the series would likely go down well with publishers, so that’s an option. But I find writing about film a little empty at the moment. I can’t put my finger on it; it’s just: what is me writing about Spielberg or Disney actually achieving? What’s it doing to help others? Not much. But I still want to get a book published, and maybe a good step on that road is to gather the essays I’ve already written, add a few new ones, and self-publish. At least then I can try to work out exactly how I feel about my film writing.
Find a special someone
I’m 32. I’ve never had a girlfriend. I’ve never been kissed. I’m shy. I live alone. I’m lonely. Really, very lonely. These are things we’re not really supposed to talk about. Social media and blogging is all about projecting a perfect vision of yourself, right? Well, I don’t believe that. What’s the point? Things don’t change if you don’t talk about them, and I want them to change. I want to find someone special, I want a girlfriend. That’s very much the wrong way to go about things: don’t aim to find a girlfriend, as that’s a sure way to failure and frankly a little creepy. Women are human beings, not things to turn into girlfriends. But I can’t deny I want to meet a woman. I need to work on my confidence before then, I need to be the kind of person who can be a good boyfriend, I need friendships first of all. I’m certainly not going to rush things, and I’m certainly not the kind of guy to go hunting for women or anything so hideous as that. But by the end of 2017, I’d love to have a girlfriend in my life, so let’s see how it goes.
And that’s it. My five core goals. I hope they make sense and I hope that if you’re setting yourself goals, you achieve them. 2016 hasn’t been a great year, but that doesn’t mean things can’t get better. We’ve all got to be a little nicer to each other, a little more empathetic, and things can turn around. Happy New Year folks. I hope it’s a good one.